Underwear is Every Where but Mostly Underneath

I once taught a song to my children titled; Underwear is Every Where but Mostly Underneath. You can only hope that underwear will stay underneath and dry. Anyone who is a caregiver most likely will eventually be faced with the Depends dilemma. You will know when it is time when you are tired of seeing dirty underwear soaking in the sink. The Elder being cared for does not remember to do anything beyond dropping them in the sink and so it falls to you to determine washing machine or garbage. When the answer is mostly garbage, it is time. Going to Depends probably is seen as a step toward giving up independence. A person with dementia has a very difficult time understanding why they need to change what they are doing and will become angry when they look in their underwear drawer to see new and different underwear. Eventually they may forget about the “lost” underwear, but not without many slammed doors and temper outbursts and accusations about you and the stolen underwear.

Underwear is not always underneath as I found out one early morning when I went into my Mom’s room. It wasn’t light yet and when she sat up in bed, I saw something white on her head. I wondered where she got a hat and why she put it on. When I turned on the light and saw what it really was, I exclaimed, “Holy Shit, you have underwear on your head.” (I am not always the most diplomatic.) She replied, “I do?” as she felt her head. She didn’t know why she had it on her head. Maybe her head was cold and she thought it was a hat.

What the Hell!

PS: Remember as you read my ramblings. This is not really about my mother. It is about my experiences with the woman left here in her place.